Finito! Teaserino!

OMG!! Ouch, my brain hurts:

Mind Fire: Rewrite

Zokutou word meter
58,091 / 58,091
(100.0%)

A few thoughts: I won’t even get started on how incredibly BAD the first draft of MF was. Okay, I will… It was loaded with adverbs and people coughing and breathing out sentences. It’s characters were so two-dimensional, they disappeared if they turned sideways. I’m not sure WHAT the plot was, or why anyone cared to follow it. I did not have a clue what I was doing when I started it (obviously). I like to think I have learned a lot about writing here at LJ and on the Blue Boards. 

I shudder to recall that I sent out actual query letters on that first horrid draft. It was 67k words and 229 pages. The current version is 58k words and 237 pages. Heh. 
Once I began realizing all the things that were wrong, I seriously thought about trashing this novel. But I kept coming back to the premise, which I think is too good to let go (at least, I love it).

Anyway, I don’t know what – if anything – is going to come of this, but I am proud of myself for finishing it – again.  More than that, I have learned that if you dare look at your own work with insight into its flaws, it is possible to rip your beating heart out, stomp on it, and put it back in better shape. Erm…or I’ve been watching too much Indiana Jones and need to go to bed.

I promised to tease, so here I shall…I think I’ve hinted at this one before. Wahaha. Soo stoked to have 4th of July weekend for revisions.

He smirked and placed a hand to his chest where she had pushed him. “You know, you flush when you’re angry. It’s very becoming.”

Her eyes blazed. “What exactly is it that you’re looking for?”

His smirk spread into that insufferable self-assured grin. He gestured out of the woods. “Your friends are waiting, Addy.”

Her chest fluttered when he spoke her name. She dug her nails into her palm and glanced over to the costume shop in the distance. She could barely make out one tall figure loitering beside a smaller one outside. Her mind clouded. She gritted her teeth, and wheeled back around.

“No way.” She stepped forward, closing the distance between them, and pointed a finger to his chest. “I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing Duncan, but it’s been a long day and I’m sick of it. You’re not getting rid of me before I get some answers.” Her voice lowered. “I’ve never met anyone…like me before.”  

“That’s it, exactly Addy!” A brilliant smile busted over Duncan’s face. He took both her hands, pulling her closer, spinning her blue figure around. His eyes roved over her white-blonde hair, still-pink cheeks, and parted lips.

                Reflexively, she closed her eyes. His mouth mashed against hers, salty-sweet and warm. All breath escaped her, pressed against his body. Then she pulled away and swung her fist into his jaw. 

6 thoughts on “Finito! Teaserino!

  1. CONGRATULATIONS! It sounds like you got a lot out of this rewrite and I’m really really excited and happy for you. You worked hard and you deserve it.

    Anddd! Hello teaser! YAY!

    I LOVE it! The last line IS a pop in a jaw. I was like, “Ooh, I’m enjoying the cadence/rhythm of the dialogue” and then, “BAM!” And then I was like, “!!!!” Aaah! Okay, this whole comment could devolve into exclamation marks but talk about intruiging!!

    courtney

    1. Yay! Exclamation marks from Courtney are good! And contagious! I now find myself actually thinking “!” sometimes. Haha. !!!!
      Glad you liked it… ^_^ was nervous to post that scene cause it’s kinda from the beginning, which I haven’t looked at in a long time, and now I’m paranoid that it needs re-writing again. Damn vicious cycle…

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