My dad is completely sadistic. Here is his idea of Christmas fun:
I have a ~slight~ case of arachnephobia…all it really does is cause me to SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS AND FLEE THE PREMISES any time I encounter a spider…of any size. And the truly evil/just part of it is that I can’t even bring myself to kill them anymore. I feel ~BAD~ about it…who am I to end a spider’s life just for inhabiting my bathroom? I don’t NEED to brush my teeth after all (why are you leaning AHWAY FROHM MEH AHS AH SPEAHHHK?). Anyway, this is Rosie the remote-control TARANTULA. If Rosie were real in this pic, I would already be dead and twitching on the floor (yes, of COURSE I would twitch AFTER dying of fright). I wanted to leave Rosie in her packaging, but I had to humor my dad – who last year gave me a leg lamp like the one in A CHRISTMAS STORY. So I had S put the batteries in for me (I couldn’t do it!) and we had a little fun trying to scare the poodle…but mostly freaking. me. out. Did I mention ROSIE’S EYES GLOW RED??? And that white thing by my feet is her remote control…. SADISTICALLY SHAPED LIKE A GROSS SPIDER EGG. Ewwwwwwwww. Post-pic-posterity, Rosie is now banned to the basement – where I am sure to forget her existence and DIE OF FRIGHT when I come across her in a few months…followed by twitching.
Really, can ANYONE top my Christmas?
Those of you who tweet know that S ~*dazzled*~ me Edward-style by giving me a new purple ipod (big enough to hold my audiobooks!) with a very literary-geek quote on the back:
“You can stroke people with words.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
He then confessed how almost-incredibly-impossible it was to find an FSF quote that would FIT on the back of an ipod. LOL. Awwwwww. Even though I’ve been over my Fitzgerald-swoon for years, he went out of his way to do that because I used a (probably completely unknown and somewhat racy) FSF quote under my senior HS pic in the yearbook back in 199_. Which makes S pretty much MORE awesome than I already knew he was. Does everyone have their ~*sparkle-barf*~ bags?? ONE MORE TIME: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
BUT WAIT! There’s MORE: Did I mention the beautiful custom art nouveau bookplates he had made WITH MY NAME ON THEM? Ok, I’ll stop now…just consider this entry dedicated to my husband S and ROSIE THE SPIDER.
I am making up for lost blogging with this one (you were warned)!
Every Christmas we resurrect the Super Nintendo and despite the machine being kicked and losing our game TWICE (and S falling down lots of holes) I am now DUKING IT OUT WITH BOWSER in LEVEL 7 of Super Mario World, and am totally about to PWN the game AGAIN. If only writing a novel were this easy!
S got DOCTOR WHO SEASON 3 on DVD for his birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes…writing. I’m doing some of that. I finally kick-started my re-re-revision. Yeah. That’s all I’m going to say for fear of TWITCHING. But it’s excited AND fearful twitching! (o_0) And I got a rejection today from November 4th and I just laughed MANIACALLY out loud! *Yesssssssssssob*.
On a sadder note…my kitty Thyme is not doing well. He’s about ~16 years old and we’re pretty sure he has cancer. He’s lost a lot of weight and is now having a LOT of trouble eating. I’d ask for well-wishes, but I think we’re past that. I just don’t want this to be prolonged or horrible for him. We can’t believe he stayed for Christmas…and made it to S’s birthday too. It’s so sad to see a living, healthy personality that you love become thin and wasted, and not really recognize you. :( :( We just lost our other cat Abbey this fall…I have NEVER been without a cat, and both of mine were such strong characters…I still feel Abbey NOT THERE. Thyme is in some ways already not here the way he was…but ugh, this doesn’t ever get easier does it? I find comfort thinking I will give a loving home to another kitty that needs one when the time comes. And then I think of Thyme taming himself from feral barn cat because we fell in love with each other at first head-bump. Life is just damn cruel and unfair sometimes and that’s all.